The BEST-BORING advice to manage your speaking anxiety
During the lunch break at a corporate communication skills workshop I was conducting, one of the participants shared her struggle with me: “Even though I grew up with debating and public speaking, I get uncontrollable shakes when speaking to my senior managers. Please help me, what can I do?” I could see in her eyes that she would go to the ends of the earth to cure her anxiety because she understood the negative impact it had on her professional credibility and competence.
I gave her my best-boring advice. I told her to breathe.
It was a climatic disappointment to say the least. Her and I departed to lunch knowing that my answer to her biggest struggle didn’t land as a solution. Not even close.
Spoiler alert, the story has a happy ending. It is my aim to help you understand and connect with the reason why breath is important. Here’s what I’ll cover:
The incorrect way to breathe
The correct way to breathe
The impact of breath for high-performance results
The incorrect way to breathe
Did you know that most people only use a third of their lung capacity? This type of breathing is called clavicular breathing and relies on breath from the muscles in the upper chest, neck and shoulders. This means that you’re in a danger zone because the lungs are given less space to expand and that means that your body needs to work harder to maintain balance. The result is a shortened breath, a weak voice, shallow presence and increased stress on the body.
2. The correct way to breathe
On the other hand deep, diaphragmatic breathing is the answer to slowing down your heart rate, decreasing anxiety and projects a calm confidence in any situation. When you breathe into your diaphragm (imagine your stomach area and lower back expanding like a balloon) your entire body posture will align, your voice is stronger and you calm down your nervous system. Say goodbye to the shakes!
3. The impact of breath for high-performance results
At the end of the workshop we went around the room for each participant to share the highlights of their learnings. The particular lunch-time participant stood up tall and proudly shared: “This stuff works! During lunch I went to ask a senior manager if I could schedule a meeting with him and he proposed to have the meeting right there and then. Pressure! I used all the communication techniques that I learned in the morning session and nailed it. The only problem was that I was shaking. I was still shaking by the time I got back to this room. But then we started the breathing practice and my shaking hands disappeared. Now I know that this stuff works. It really works!”
Her energy and exclamation was goosebump worthy. That’s why telling someone to breathe is boring. Head knowledge isn’t enough. You have to experience it to know that it works. The problem is that when we get stressed and the body is in fight or flight mode, the last thing a person wants to do is breathe. When the stakes are high it isn’t the body’s natural response to calm down.
You need to go against nature to nurture. How do you do this? You get ahead of it by training yourself to breathe from your diaphragm. Take on the stance of an athlete to achieve high performance results. You are a high-performer!
Here is a mantra that you can repeat to yourself daily:
When I get into my breathing, I get into my unconscious. I calm myself down.
Connect with me for more ways I can help you express your empowered self for career advancement.